From slightly before dusk till slightly after dawn - Part One

Greetings once more everyone. It has been a while, but this time I actually have an excuse! Firstly, I got married to the most wonderful woman in the world, and secondly I have finally finished the first draft of my first full-length novel! I will of course be showering the world with details as the project progresses - but there is still much to do before I can even begin seeking a home for it. It has been an amazing few weeks to say the least.

Now, as we all know - weddings entail things like bachelor parties. Bachelor parties have always been a strange thing to me. My alcohol tolerance is that of a 13 year old girl, and I'm what you could call "indoorsy."  Enter the world's nerdiest bachelor party (I'm sure there is nerdier out there no doubt). I have wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons for...well almost my entire life. My various groups of friends growing up weren't into that sort of thing - so the whole D&D world passed me by.

When it came time to plan my party, that was the first and best choice that popped into my head - let's play some damned D&D (well technically we played Pathfinder, but close enough). Instead of rambling on and on about the rules of the game, all the various dice rolls, and the boring bits - I'm going to attempt to hammer our short campaign into a story. Strap on those goofy ass sport goggle-glasses things, get out those pocket protectors, and push those glasses up on the bridge of your nose - it's D&D story time.

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The tavern was...well...a tavern. The four companions were tired, and the dwarf had been ceaselessly complaining about the lack of alcohol in the vampire's castle - though he did seem to cheer up at the sound of glasses clinking and boisterous conversation.

"I need a drink." Kinanar said. The Dwarf was kitted head to toe in armor bearing all of the embellishments of a talented Dwarven blacksmith. Strapped to his back was a less than pristine war-hammer, he would get around to cleaning off all of the gooey vampire blood and skeleton bits once he got his hands on some ale. Walking next to him, a halfling held up both of his hands - all ten fingers extended.

"Ten times." Chest said. Chest Rockwell was a halfling, but no regular halfling. Whereas most of his folk preferred to spend their time relaxing and generally keeping to themselves, Chest could not resist the call of the open road. "You've said that ten times since we started walking toward the tavern." Chest swirled his black cloak dramatically and trudged ahead, the daggers strapped to his waist flashed in the moonlight. Kinanar grumbled something under his breath and continued walking.

"I've got some....water!" Fenwick shouted from behind them, their Elven companion and spell-caster  of the group said attempting to help. "Oh, berries! I've got sooo many berries." Elves like nature. No one answered him, the tavern was closing in. Fenwick shrugged and dug into his stash of nature-candy. After gobbling down a handful or two, Fenwick turned to see the last member of their strange group down on his knees. "Wait!" Fenwick called to the two walking ahead.

"Oh Gods not this again." Kinanar said. The final member of their group stood nearly seven feet tall. A mane of wild fire-red hair covered his head. A thick cloak of wolf fur cascaded down his back, partially obscuring the hilariously large bastard sword he carried on his back - yet the man knelt on the ground, the palms of his scarred hands pressed into his eyes - the sound of light sobbing could be heard. "What is it now big guy?" The man, known as Scrambles the Death-Dealer, looked up - his mouth quivered, his eyes puffy and red.

"Oh don't let him start we're almost ther....." Chest attempted, but was cut off. He groaned audibly.

"I feel an endless ocean of pain," the big man said, he gestured to the ground - there lay a dead rabbit, "a boundless sea of solitude, to be alone in death is to be alone in eternity." The big man doubled over, wracked by another bout of sobbing. "If I had been here, I could have helped its passing!" He cried out to the stars above, shaking fists at the sky as if to defy the Gods above him. Scrambles...well...Scrambles was different - though his prowess in battle could not be ignored, no matter how strange his techniques. Fenwick leaned down next to the giant of a man.

"Would some berries help?" Elves like nature. Scrambles looked to his comrade, giant glassy eyes blinking rapidly.

"Yes, perhaps the bounty the poor beast fed upon will give me strength to continue." Scrambles accepted a handful of berries, eating all but two - these he placed on the tiny rabbit's eyes, like some sort of rabbit currency for the rabbit guard of the rabbit river of Styx.

"I'M GOING INSIDE NOW!" Chest called from the door of the tavern impatiently. Kinanar half-ran half-skipped to the door - his mouth watering at the thought of a cold beverage. Fenwick and Scrambles followed suit.

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The tavern was sparsely populated, though there were a few customers lounging around the bar and at some of the tables scattered about the establishment. A rip-roaring drunk of a man stumbled about the room, attempting to find a group to attach himself to for the evening - he did not seem to be having any luck. The music floating from the lute of the bard sitting not far from the door stopped at the four companions entrance, a look of genuine interest appearing on his face.

"Adventurers! Finally!" He swung his lute around so that it rested on his back, he extended a hand and vigorously shook each of the member's hands, Scrambles smiled down at him benevolently. "I was beginning to run out of material," he eyed the companions up and down, noticing the state of their gear he assumed battle was something they commonly faced, "and here you stand, flush from another conflict! Please, tell me what happened!"

An awkward silence filled the tavern, the four looked back and forth at each other and shrugged.

"I killed at least thirty undead." Kinanar said nonchalantly, as if it were just a normal day.

"Skeletons?!" The bard asked, furiously putting quill to parchment.

"Definitely, mopped up about 10 of those." Kinanar said, glaring at his companions, daring them to correct him. "Bunch of zombies, oh and four vampires...nothing too serious for a," he cleared his throat dramatically, "for a...Paladin!" The bard continued to scribble, enraptured by the tale. Chest rolled his eyes. Kinanar opened his mouth to continue, but the bard moved down the line - looking up at Fenwick with excitement in his eyes.

"How about you?" The bard said, dipping his quill in a portable bottle of ink. "What monstrosities did you face?"

"I..." Fenwick struggled for an answer, "...vaporized...an entire legion of undead thralls!" The bard gaped.

"A legion??" He scribbled furiously. "Amazing!" Kinanar scrunched his mouth in disapproval, though it was hard to tell underneath the beard. The bard scooted down the line to Chest, who was attempting to squeeze out of the interaction and head toward the bar. The bard stopped him short with a hand on the shoulder. "I'm sure you have a great thirst to quench after your latest adventure," the bard continued, "but please I beg you, just a few more details and I'll have a song worthy of your adventure...and possibly some coin!" Chest turned around and eyed the bard with no small amount of annoyance. The halfling whipped out his two daggers faster than any of the crew could see and spun them in flashing circles around his fingers. The bard stopped talking, his mouth hung open - the spinning stopped, and with a flick of his wrists Chest sent both daggers shrieking across the tavern. They struck an empty wooden tankard placed on an unoccupied table, ripped it from its place and pinned it to the wall. The bar silenced for a brief second, a few people clapped, and chatter resumed. Chest pushed passed the bard to retrieve his daggers, the bard was too busy writing to stop him this time. He looked up from his parchment and moved to Scrambles.

"You have the look of a great warrior about you, how about yourself?" The bard asked, prepared to write as always. Scrambles' eyes took on a glassy look, as though he were peering inward. Kinanar and Fenwick sighed - they left the two and joined Chest at a table. Scrambles' lips pressed together in a tight white line, as though the words held within caused him unspeakable pain.

"So many required my help." He said finally, his big eyes watering up once more. "They were lucky to receive my embrace, to guide them to the final rest." The bard cocked an eyebrow in confusion, then saw the man's arms. Unlike his pristine sword (it looked barely used actually), his arms were knotted with scars, fresh cuts, scabs, and even wounds that looked like bite marks.

"When you say embrace..." the bard said, "...you mean your actual embrace, as in you hugged them?" Scrambles bobbed his head in a sullen nod, though a smile played at his lips.

"Everything, be it monster, man, demon, or demi-god should not face the long journey without a warm embrace." Scrambles wiped at his eyes and smiled brightly. The bard, though a little more than confused, scribbled on his parchment a bit more before returning his quill to his small pack.

"What a tale!" The bard allowed himself a grin. "A round of drinks on me for my new friends!" He called over the the barkeep, she was currently tending to a small child that skipped around behind the bar singing. She looked up and nodded - lining up five glasses and filling them with ale. The bard and Scrambles joined the rest of the group at the rickety wooden table, the bar patron brought over their beverages. Everyone seized a tankard, the bard raised his into the air -  "To adventure!" The rest of the company did not echo his cheer, the bard guzzled his ale - the group eyed him strangely. Kinanar felt a tickle in his mind. Do you think he's going to sit here the whole time? It was Fenwick, Kinanar scrunched his eyebrows together and thought back to the Elf. Is this really the time for magic? Fenwick shrugged from across the table, just curious, something doesn't feel rig-

The bard made a wet choking noise, his hand grabbed the center of his tunic - pulling at the strings keeping it tight. His skin turned from a healthy tan to a ghastly white, he stumbled heavily into the table, righted himself for a moment, and then collapsed to the ground. Kinanar jumped out of his seat, the Dwarf began to move to the Bard but was stopped by the shout of a woman they had not noticed. Judging from her attire she was a Cleric, she approached the fallen bard quickly - her eyes full of concern.

"Get back!" She cried, Kinanar stopped his approach. The bar was quiet, everyone watched - and then the door rocked against its hinges loudly. The four companions looked up.

"Don't like the sound of that." Chest said, wiping ale from his mouth as he got out of his seat. As if in answer to the halfling, the door burst inward. From the darkness came the sound of dry rattling and steel meeting steel in a strange jagged rhythm. Not human steps. Kinanar thought to himself. Four skeletons entered the tavern, the eyeless sockets scanning the room - rusty notched blades in-hand. 

The tavern erupted into chaos, patrons clambered to the back of the building - the barkeep and her progeny ducked behind the bar. The lead skeleton locked his empty gaze on the table of four and let out a dry shriek - his companions echoed it and began moving toward them.

"I'm not finished drinking yet." Kinanar said. He snatched his tankard off the table and guzzled what was left. Ale flowed around the lip of the cup and doused his beard, foam covered the tip of his nose. He let out a contented sigh. "Alright," he let out an un-Paladinlike belch and stood once more. He snagged the haft of his warhammer and flipped it into his hands, he kicked his chair out of the way and eyed the skeletons. "You know we just got done turning a whole castle of you lot into dust." The skeletons seemed unimpressed.

Chest already had his daggers out and had circled around the room quietly, now waiting off to the side of the group of skeletons. Scrambles looked up, pity filled his eyes.

"Do not fear my friends," Scrambles bellowed to the skeletons, "I will release you from your undeath and guide you to endless fields of green!" Fenwick moved a few steps behind his companions, spell-book already in hand.

"Just don't-" Fenwick started.

"Right, we know," Kinanar said, he mimed his best Elf voice, "don't let you get stabbed." The Dwarf laughed.

"Hey." Fenwick barked. "I'm basically wearing a dress here, want to trade armor?" Kinanar did his best to pretend he did not hear him. 

The skeletons closed in.

One step forward, one giant fall off of a cliff backward.

I haven't been able to post for some time due to my insane schedule as of late - work combined with school combined with getting married in OHMYGODLESSTHANAMONTH. I'm fine, I'm cool - ok anyways let's move.

My timeline as a person is tied very closely to video games (and other things of course, but for the sake of this post...just games), from opening up my first NES and attempting to land that damned plane on the aircraft carrier in Top Gun (IMPOSSIBLE) to the PS4s and Xbox Ones of today. I love video games, I always have and always will - though, like most loves, it has been tested close to the point of breaking during this "Next-Generation" of gaming we have entered. Allow me to elaborate.

Once upon a time, in a time not so long ago there were consoles that WANTED you to play games on them - for besides the odd DVD night, playing games was their purpose in life. User interfaces were uncomplicated and honestly, most of the time I barely noticed them because I could just toss my game and and off we went on whatever adventure I was destined for that day.  If you can recall with me, how many steps between you and playing your new video game were there back in the era of N64's and the original Playstation? One - you put the game in...and then you played it.

Fast forward to the present. One of my favorite and most respected series recently released the next title in their line of amazing games - Bloodborne. Bloodborne, if you do not know, is another spiritual successor to the Demon's/Dark Souls games that all hold a place in the upper echelon of what I consider to be truly good games. The game itself is absolutely amazing, I'm not here to lampoon Bloodborne's game play in any way - I loved the experience and have already completed the game.  What I am going to attack is this:

 How much do you like this screen? Do you like it enough to stare at it for nearly TWO minutes every single time you load? Well, hopefully you do because you're going to. We have become so graphics obsessed that every next-gen game leaves you enough time to cook a Thanksgiving meal before the next screen loads - completely sucking the tension out of an otherwise amazing game. Something about staring at a shitty font for 30 minutes in one play session starts to become frustrating as you could imagine. This becomes especially cumbersome when you have to travel to more than one area - that's two loading screens for the price of one!

Let's jump back again, remember the good old days of the first Halo or Mario Kart 64? How easy it was to have an absolute blast with your friends, crowded together on a couch screaming at the douchebag that just released a blue shell at you or who smacked you in the face with an RPG from across Blood Gulch? Worst case scenario, another friend would bring their console, you hook them up, and boom 8 players instead of four - now you've got a party. Couch Co-op has taken a back seat in favor of the pay to play services advertised by most console providers - for example the Souls series never charged for use of their online mode (an integral feature to experiencing the whole game) until the release of Bloodborne. After putting my game in, downloading it from a disc SITTING IN THE DAMNED CONSOLE for an hour, then INSTALLING it for another half an hour, I finally had the game ready to go. I started and was immediately greeted by a window telling me I needed to purchase a PS+ membership to access the online functionality of Bloodborne.

I already am trapped paying for Xbox Live, now I get bent over another 10$ a month barrel just so I can play a game with a friend maybe once a week. I begrudgingly let go of yet another ten dollars of my not so disposable income....and have used the online functionality about twice - because the lag between host and player is insane. Sure, I can play with my friend - but you know what isn't fun in a game where dying actually carries consequence? Getting cut in half by a giant monster you didn't even see swing his 30 foot sword at you because the game's frame rate took a dip into the pits of hell.

Thankfully some titles, the Borderlands series for example, are putting in the work to make couch co-op return and I am eternally grateful.

Being able to sit with my fiance on our couch and tear through legions of bandits has been an absolute blast and Borderlands deserves extra kudos for making this type of multiplayer happen.

Let's get back to that rant shall we? Now, I know it's painful and gross, but there is a hideous boil lingering on all of these next-gen consoles. It is not a new infection, in fact its roots can be traced back to the last generation of consoles, yet it has steadily grown in infection rate and severity. I'm talking of course about - DLC. The closest thing to a four letter word I can think of in the gaming industry. The way 90% of companies handle downloadable content add-ons for their games is absolutely sickening, why? I'm glad you asked.

While Kotaku isn't exactly a place I'd go to find anything trusted about gaming - this visual aid I found is just what I wanted in order to help explain this ridiculous process. Back in the Golden Ages we were given a full game on release date. Everything was finished, polished, and sold for full price - because well, it was a full game! Sounds like a fair deal to me, if the game was a success the ravenous fan base would be rewarded with expansion packs that cost less than the full game they already purchased, now you have hours and hours of extra content for the game you thought was over - wonderful!!

Things started to take a downswing as the 2000's progressed. We still bought full games, but the expansion packs seemed to just be logical add-ons to a game we already played. We still bought them because it was still a relatively fresh concept - and we still wanted more content for our games. So, as this may have not been perfect, I went along with it.

Welcome to the present! Now we have the luxury of AAA gaming companies like EA and Activision (these are NOT the only offenders, merely the biggest) selling us incomplete games where the extra content is ALREADY on the disc you purchased. To put it in another way - you buy a game for full price that already contains all of the downloadable content on it that will be released later. All of these extra goodies are locked away behind a big dollar sign - but you can have them if you shell out an extra 5 or 10 bucks every now and then. Before you know it, you've paid double what the game is actually worth ONLY to access content ALREADY PRESENT on the game you ALREADY purchased. See a problem here? No wonder large game companies are doing so well, all they have to do is sell one game and make money as though they were selling two. 

At this point my Xbox One and PS4 have become glorified Netflix boxes. The utter lack of respectable games out there is staggering (though there are some examples that I've talked about earlier that are actually highly enjoyable). Bright shiny technologically impressive games are sold for 64$ and people snap them up because WHOOAAAAA it looks SOOOO GOOOOD. Guess what, that amazing looking concrete that was so awe inspiring doesn't matter if the game you are playing is a steaming pile of crap. In fact - let me dig into my current loot hoard of games and see how many next-gen games I actually enjoyed. Keep in mind, the following games are only ones I've actually purchased and played.

Next Gen Games Delrain Enjoyed:

1. Alien Isolation

2. Shadow of Mordor

3. Borderlands: The Handsome Edition

4. Bloodborne

5. Dragon Age: Inquisition

6. Crimes & Punishments: Sherlock Holmes

7. Fantasia - Music Evolved

8. Wolfenstein: The New Order

9. Bayonetta 2

There are some that barely did not make this list, such as Farcry 4 and Sunset Overdrive, but I have quarrels with said games that did not allow them to make it on my nice list, though luckily they do avoid the naughty list. I don't have GTA V on this list because I was impatient and played it on 360. Now, let's talk about games that I have bought, played for an hour, and then returned fuming to the store to return the game for a fraction of the money I paid - effectively robbing myself. If it is in bold, you would have more fun being beaten by a whiffle-ball bat until you were unconscious.

Next Gen Games That Are Terrible:

1. Ryse: Son of Rome

2. Killzone: Shadowfall (or whatever dumb word they use to signify a sequel now)

3. The Evil Within

4. Assassin's Creed: Unity

5. Any and all Final Fantasy games

6. Infamous Second Son

7. Knack

8. The Order 1886 (I started out loving this title, but once I got past its looks it was nothing to write home about)

9. Destiny

10. Seriously, any and all Final Fantasy games

11. Dying Light

12. Titanfall

13. Evolve

14. Dead Rising 3

15. Watch Dogs

16. Lords of the Fallen

17. Thief

Almost double, sounds about right. The list of terrible games would have been much longer if I played Call of Duty or Battlefield, but luckily I don't. From terrible story, game play, and insane amounts of necessary DLC all of these games have too many sins to forgive. 

Right now, the only thing preserving my gaming sanity is my faithful PC. There always seems to be something I can dig up and enjoy on the computer - and for that I am lucky. I know the Wii-U didn't receive much discussion time here, but honestly I don't have that many games for it still. Aside from the usual Mario titles, Bayonetta 2 was the only standout.

Today was more of a rant than anything, but to all you game companies out there - keep up the good work, soon you won't have jobs because your massive corporate overlords will one day force you to pump out so many garbage titles that there won't be anyone left who wants to buy them. 

The Underground Princess

Greetings!

Instead of pursuing my more common trains of thought, I wanted to use today as a new jumping off point. I find regularly reading to be one of the most rewarding things one could do for mental health and imagination. Now, where does one start when beginning their journey on discussing books that helped shape them as a person, or in my case as a writer?

Well, I found the answer to be quite easy - the beginning. Reading throughout a child's life is a priceless gift that any parent can bestow. A strong imagination not only leads to amazing acts of artistic creation but can also strengthen problem-solving skills and allow young readers to see a solution by looking outside of the norm. I attribute much of my (possibly dwindling) mental acuity to the fact that I was always reading when I was young. Every night I would slide into bed a few hours before I needed actually to be asleep for school the next morning and just enjoy being lost in whatever story I had lined up next, sometimes with a queue of up to ten books waiting for me.

As I've grown older I find myself shoving reading into a corner, after all when am I supposed to find time to enjoy a book between the cascading waves of stress and difficulty that come with adult life? Thus, I am even more grateful for people like my mother who constantly pushed me to read and who always alerts me to a new book that she may think I would enjoy, even if I don't pick it up. Without being guided to the world of literature I would like to think that I would have made my way there on my own eventually, but a parental figure starting you out on your first steps not only is an excellent way to ensure that your child reads but is a fantastic bonding opportunity between child and parent. Now, let's jump into the matter at hand. Instead of going the route of merely suggesting the usual (but still wonderful) titles - Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc. - I'd like to make some suggestions that you may not hear about from box-office movie adaptations, but from places, you may not have taken the time to look. There are myriads of talented writers ranging from literature for children to adult non-fiction that many of us just overlook because they aren't plastered on the front of a newspaper or magazine. On that note, I'd like to introduce a title I had a very good time reading, and would most certainly recommend to any parent or a young reader looking for a strong story to join the ranks of their favorite titles. Without further ado, allow me to introduce -

(Cover image from https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Princess-Balderdash-Saga-Book-ebook/dp/B00OTYZ4ZY#nav-subnav)

Welcome to the first of many books I will be introducing over my next few blog entries - The Underground Princess. I've been lucky enough to have some experience with the incredibly talented J.W. Zulauf and thoroughly enjoyed reading over his work during early morning time spent with my Kindle.

The Underground Princess follows the young Princess Scarlet through the beginnings of her adventures in the underground kingdom of Balderdash - where the deceased have been given a second subterranean chance at life. Princess Scarlet's search for true love leads her down a path of conflict and self-discovery that any young reader would fall into quickly. The world and characters are wonderfully crafted even to give mature readers like me a clear vision of Balderdash, its inhabitants, and even their hopes and dreams. This brings me to a point I wanted to make sure I spent time discussing. Today, at least in my opinion, the time of the tired damsel in distress motif has grown stale. No one wants a female lead to sit around her ivory tower pining over the Prince that may or may not come to bring meaning to her life - and luckily this is not the sort of Princess Scarlet is. Princess Scarlet faces danger, death, love, and betrayal with more grace and wisdom than characters published in books meant for people in their 40's.

Themes and events that some authors may shy away from in a work meant for children are expressed beautifully, most of all the aspect of death. The human condition of mortality is something we all have to come to terms with in our way, but The Underground Princess tackles this topic with tact - enough so that the usual gloomy pall hanging over such a subject completely dissipates.

The story is delightfully illustrated throughout, giving the characters you have come to enjoy even more personality (which they all have in spades from the get go). As this is the first book in the Balderdash Saga, I am excited about the next iterations and plan on collecting them for when I have a young reader of my own.

When it comes down to it, The Underground Princess is a great book to gift any young reader. The characters all portray strengths and weaknesses that we deal with on a daily basis, it contains a strong female lead which we could all use more of and most importantly is just plain fun to read. Thumbs way up!

If you are interested in The Underground Princess, you can find it in a variety of places and(as mentioned above) can even be downloaded to your Kindle at your convenience!

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Underground-Princess-Balderdash-Saga-Book-ebook/dp/B00OTYZ4ZY

Evolved Publishing: http://www.evolvedpub.com/product/the-underground-princess/

See you soon for my next recommendation; I believe my next entry will deal with some great Young Adult literature I have dug up over the past few months. Until then!

The Long Dark - Snowy Snowy Death

Greetings!

I'm back, and to celebrate the fact that there is no way in hell I'm going outside when the temperatures are in the negatives and it is snowing like a beast - I will be playing "The Long Dark", a pre-release game I recently acquired on Steam. The premise is not far from my current situation, except for the fact that I will not be in a cozy house, I'll be flung into the elements after a natural disaster and left to survive on my own. Will I be able to scrounge up enough food? Will the wind speeds of the blizzard rip my clothing to rags before I find shelter? Will I be straight up devoured by a pack of wolves? Who knows - only time and the slow icy hands of death can tell. Let us begin!

Day One

It's cold, very very very very cold. Not like, oh hey sweater weather cold - but I'm going to die out here in a few minutes cold. It's also dark, which is great. I don't remember how I got here or where I am, but it's cold and dark - wonderful. The only thing I can make out in the gloom is the partial outline of a snow covered road, my best guess is to follow said road - could lead me to a settlement of sorts. Let's get moving.

I got lucky, just as I was sure the fingers on both of my hands were near snapping off from the persistent freezing wind I stumbled upon a small clutch of fishing houses. Not exactly a Marriott, but I can't complain. No one else is around, there is no electricity as far as I can tell, what happened here? My hands numbly fumble for the doorknob and I stumble inside. Quiet, dark, and it smells moldy - but it's warm....well warmer. It looks as though most of the shack has been ransacked, anything valuable that wasn't nailed down is gone except for large pieces of furniture and things they didn't have time to carry, ah well all the better for me. Time to dig through some cabinets.

I can't help but feel slightly disheartened, I did find a small amount of drinkable water and a few granola bars but that won't be enough to last me long. I've only been out here for three hours and it feels like an eternity. Well, I can't hide in here forever, there are still two more fishing sacks to look through - better get to it. *zips up his jacket and steps outside*

While my stores of food and water aren't improving by much, I did run into a streak of luck in the last of the fishing huts. A perfect condition lantern was resting on a dusty shelf, complete with a jerry can of lantern fuel nestled in a corner not far away. Nearby on one of the small bunks I found a jacket, and not just any old jacket - but one of those that a pro would buy from some exclusive website or upscale shop. Well, it's not doing anyone good sitting around here - out with the old in with the new. If the owner returns hopefully they won't mind me switching out my wind-ravaged jacket with theirs.

I'm tired, my knees ache, and I don't want to go ranging away from the fishing village while it is still dark. After gathering up the meager amount of blankets in the small hut I crawled into a creaking bed and drifted into an icy sleep, only to awaken a few hours later as the sun peeked through the windows. Time to get up and get moving.

It's only slightly warmer outside as the sun is out and the wind has died down some. To my right I see a frozen lake dotted with small ice-fishing huts, a large home rests in the center of the frozen lake on an island...perhaps I'll take my chances with the ice later, but for now I'm not equipped to deal with a dip into sub-zero waters. Time to follow the road some more!

About two hours of walking later and I can see a small village ahead of me, perhaps four to five serviceable houses still remain among the burned out husks of their neighbors. I'm freezing now, I've been outside too long and I swear the howls I keep hearing are closing in. I've seen something prowling through the trees from the corner of my eye once or twice, but never enough to see what is following me. Better to just put a little pep in my step and get to those houses. A distant (but closer) howl rings out form behind me. My jog becomes a wheezing sprint, the door to the first home is only a few steps away. I crash into the door, push it open, and slam it shut behind me.

Not bad, not bad at all. A two story house with a fireplace no less, swanky. I drop my gear in the living room near the fireplace and begin my scavenging. Much to my joy a few rolls of newsprint, some fuel from my jerry can, and a few logs I found stacked in a corner make for an absolutely divine fire. I can't help but sit and absorb the warmth from the flames for a few hours before I begin my search of the home further.

Now we're talking, a fridge full of soda, a freezer with a hefty amount of raw venison, and even a sewing kit and cloth! I've also stumbled upon a treasure trove of pork and beans cans, but alas I have no can opener or way to pry the can apart - smashing it against the ground until I could get at the contents crossed my mind, but I think it would be better to save them for the moment. With a few inexperienced stitches I repair a few troublesome holes in my jeans and wool socks - not much but the patches will keep the wind out a little longer. I stoke the fire with another log and prepare the venison I found for cooking. After about 2 hours of slow roasting over the fire it's time to dig in, and if this were to be my last meal in this frozen wasteland I could probably die happy. Even with no seasoning or fancy sauces the warm cooked meat was everything I needed. My spirits were lifted, the house smelled of delicious cooked venison, and I had a safe place to stay for the night. I made myself at home and curled up for a nap in front of the roaring fire.

The fire is out and the house has gotten cold. How long did I sleep? It's hard to tell, I haven't been keeping track of time well, but if I had to guess I would say I've been here for almost an entire day. The sun is beginning to set, but now that I am rested, warm, and fed I think I have the strength to hit the other houses in the area and see what I can come up with. I'd give my kingdom for a rifle to deal with any troublesome wildlife, and even to hunt some game if the opportunity arose. Whatever, let's get moving again. I take another deep breath of the smokey house and reluctantly turn the doorknob leading outside. The wooden frame creaks, but there is another noise. A low guttural growl greets me from the other side of the door. I don't know how many there are, but a writhing mass of black fur and bared teeth awaits me, I freeze in place. How could I have been so stupid, the smell of the cooked meat probably attracted every wolf within ten miles - and then the first was on me.

Teeth snapped at my face and neck, I pushed back and fought - I'd be damned if a dog was going to finish me after all I've done. I feel its teeth sink into my shoulder and cry out, I gain a momentary advantage as it rips my shoulder apart and drive my left fist into its right eye. A plaintive yelp splits the air and the wolf releases its grip on my shoulder. Dark blood seeps from the puncture wounds in my fancy new jacket. Damn, that's going to be hard to repai- Another wolf, I'm too weak. My vision swims, I'm pinned to the ground once more. I push the wolf back with all the strength I can muster with my right hand, my left grasping desperately for anything to fight the beast off with - but nothing is there. Is this it? My arm weakens, the snapping jaws of the wolf inch closer - its friends close in now, sensing my weakness.

I never got to....

The wolf's jaws close around my throat, searing pain tears through my chest darkness swirls down.

Not even a day this time, rough. I've managed to make it to three days, but that was mostly luck. I'm off to try again as the snow piles up around my house in real life - perhaps I'll have better chances this time.

Too Many Assassins in the Kitchen

Ahoy friends - I have survived my recent bout of hellish stomach flu and am back in action (with a serious backlog of games to get to sometime). October and November were months I was greatly looking forward to, their promise of a myriad of next gen titles got my hopes up - and for good reason. Many of the titles that have recently arrived are games that I have respect for, an uncommon trait for many releases these days.

I'm currently working through a number of titles, some of which my fiance enjoys playing as well. This will bring our target for today into focus, Assassin's Creed Unity.

 

My fiance and I have been playing the Assassin's Creed franchise together since before we were actually dating. By the way, before we continue there will be spoilers for numerous, if not all, of the Assassin's Creed titles while I discuss the most current - so viewer beware. Now where was I, right - ever since Altair stepped into the spotlight at the advent of Assassin's Creed it has been a game that brought my fiance and I together for hours of enjoyment. She loves nothing more than to run around, collect hard to find treasures, and dig up mysteries that my patience does not allow me to pursue. In all honesty, most of the legwork is done by her - if a massive brawl happens to break out, or a story mission that involves something stupid like tailing a target for 50 years without being seen shows up then I step in and play. It works out wonderfully, we chew through the title and make it out with almost every achievement - that is until recently.

Once Ezio Auditore took the reins of the Creed for his stretch of games things looked wonderful. Many of the gripes about repetitive game play and boring missions were corrected. As Ezio grew, the intellectual property grew with him and by the time we put our old friend to rest Assassin's Creed was in an amazing place. Combat was fun (though not difficult in the least), the story was interesting, there were characters we cared about, the list goes on - it was good old fashioned fun.

But all good things come to an end, and with the entrance of Assassin's Creed 3 the slow slide into mediocrity began. Connor, the main character, falls flatter than a drunk assassin attempting a dive into a hay bale and landing on a cobblestone street. His story, which was supposed to be one of the more emotionally rending tales was well...boring. His setting saved the game, that and the introduction of your own ship which would be the mainstay of the following title. These pluses do not forgive the horrible negatives which have only continued to infect following titles. The once interesting puzzles you solved that gave you a glimpse into the bigger picture behind the storyline were all but removed. Combat remained the same (more or less) and for the life of me I can't actually recall why the title was important to the overall story arch - this holds true for the next title, Assassin's Creed: Black Flag.

Another dull main character, Edward Kenway is not even an Assassin. He runs into one in the very beginning of the game, blows the guy away and basically decides to wear his clothes and hidden blade because they are super nifty, later allowing him entry into the Assassin club.

Ooook.... sure why not he is a pirate after all. Don't look here for story, I'm not even going to go into that line of questioning for this title because all I remember is driving my boat around sinking people (the only fun part of the game in my opinion). Don't get me wrong, the inclusion of naval combat was flawless and so fun that I let my fiance take over anything that had to do with land - I simply did not care about eavesdropping, tailing, or assassinating anyone (unless they happened to be on a boat I could sink of course).

Here we are, finally, at Assassin's Creed Unity (which by the way released the SAME DAY as Assassin's Creed Rogue that is only for last gen consoles and follows Black Flag closely with its ship combat etc.). Two games at once, really? Really? I can't tell if the Ubisoft team behind Assassin's Creed got cocky or if the good ol dollar sign won out in the end - but things are no longer enjoyable in the world of cloak and dagger assassinations - I AM SO TIRED OF TYPING ASSASSIN. Ahem. Sorry.

So I purchased Assassin's Creed Unity for Xbox One after the usual flurry of CG videos to hype up the populace before its release, and I'm not ashamed to admit I was one of those excited people. I love this series, well perhaps loved is more appropriate.

This arm of the Creed follows Arno...and ahhh....I'm not really sure why. His dad...or someone like his dad....or a foster dad....I dunno his dad gets killed and he wants revenge - enter the Assassins, recruiting harder than the US Army. Arno's story has already fallen out of my scope of interest, as has his character. Sure, the graphics are shiny and he looks amazing in game - but the overall glitchiness of the title hampers everything from game play to enjoying the character. Wide open windows beckon you to jump through them in seamless leaps from rooftops that would make Indiana Jones blush, yet no matter what I do I end up climbing around the window frame like a mentally damaged fly for about two minutes - if there are guards chasing me I am now being shot repeatedly in the back while Arno tries to figure out how to get INSIDE A WINDOW. Aggressive screen tearing also takes place, Arno falls through the ground into the infinite void now and then, and I've even jumped from a box to a fence only for Arno's model to be impaled upon said fence leaving me stuck and helpless. Ubisoft says that a patch is in the works to fix these problems - but why the hell are these problems here? How many titles do you have under your belt at this point? Enough to not fall into silly mistakes such as these I'd imagine. 

 

See? We've done all of that, how have we not perfected free roaming movement without stupid bugs? Now, onto my major gripes. Let's begin with the combat, now melee battles in Assassin's Creed have never been challenging (boss "fights" included). Battles are simply a matter of countering then insta-killing the guy you countered, then flowing into an endless stream of brutality that ends when the last guard standing before you hits the ground like a perforated bag of red dye. Easy, but fun and cathartic, one of my favorite AC past times was running around cities attracting as many guards as possible and then getting into a brawl than dragged across entire cities until I was the last one standing. No more.....no more....

Combat in Unity, to be blunt, is one of the least fun pieces of the experience. I don't know why or how they changed it, but now I feel useless. Arno feels like a fifteen year old with a wooden sword, battles either start with you killing everyone before they draw their swords or guards noticing you and then piling onto you while you attempt to finagle your way around countering and killing your enemies - which never works how you need it to. A color now flashes above and enemies head right as they are about to strike you signaling if you should dodge or attack - guess how visible this is when you are fighting more than two people? Not very. Enjoy getting hammered by one heavy attack and then dying. As far as I can tell, perhaps I'm not far enough into the title, the fluid fun combat of yesteryear is gone and the crude simulacrum in its place is a complete disappointment. 

Next up, the setting. The French Revolution has long been a period in history that I wished for AC to visit, but surprise - if you don't play through the multiplayer missions your involvement in the actual Revoltion at hand is minimal except for a meager handful of single player missions. Forcing AC players down the path of multiplayer is not a good choice, in my opinion at least. When I'm supposed to be occupying the shoes of an assassin I don't picture myself hanging out with five guys dressed just like me running around causing antics in French mansions. If you want to make a multiplayer game make a multiplayer game, stop watering down what was once and amazing single player experience to shoe horn in unnecessary content that no one asked for.

I still intend to finish the game because of my history with the series, but I've said it once and I'll say it again - this may very well be my last foray into the world of Assassin's Creed. My disappointment has been complete so far and my hopes are not high for a glorious turn around. In this next-gen of gaming there is no room for mistakes, because there are good games out there. Want to play a game 50x better than this that fills the same niche? Go play Shadow of Mordor - a downright fun game from start to finish. Now that Dragon Age: Inquisition and Farcry 4 have arrived I'm finding it hard to bring myself to put Unity back in. I flogged myself with the whip of The Evil Within until the game ended just to say I finished it, I will not do so again.

Shame Ubisoft...shame. 

Evil Revisited and Traversal Made Bliss

Morning/Afternoon/Evening everyone!

Working out a schedule where I can fit in work, writing, and fun is difficult - mainly because the whole "fun" portion of that equation constantly croons its siren song into my ear. After waking up at 4 AM to serve coffee to the sleepy masses of Colorado, finishing up my shift, and driving home I find it hard to dig deep and find the drive to get writing done - another tool in my writing toolbox that has long been blunted by disuse, discipline. Balance is what I need, however I digress - let's talk about some things shall we?

First and foremost, I'd like to address The Evil Within (for Xbox One in my case) once more. If you read my last entry about the title you'll be surprised to find out that I did not immediately return the game to the store for whatever meager store credit they decided to give me - I pressed on into the title hoping to dredge a positive experience out of it. Now, I still have yet to complete the game (thanks to the next game I'll be discussing being released recently) but I don't hate the idea of playing it - a major step up from my first opinion no doubt, but why? Well, to be honest - because it feels like playing this.

 

As I have progressed through the first seven chapters at this point, expect some spoilers ahead. If you are interested in playing the title then avert thine eyes and scroll down!

Dumb characters aside, so far I have yet to run into a human being I have given an ounce of a crap about, something keeps me pushing forward. Even though I constantly bad mouth the silly storyline, the ridiculous one liners, and the general confused nature of the narrative the combat still brings me back. Similar to passing someone on the street who wears the same perfume or cologne as an ex you may have dated in the past, when I'm aiming down the trembling iron sights of my pistol hoping to whatever deity happens to listen to my cries that my final bullet will do the job, I feel like I'm playing Resident Evil 4 - and as I've said, Resident Evil 4 is amazing. Then the fight ends, and the disappointment reasserts itself, I'm not Leon Kennedy - I'm some random detective guy. Back to solving puzzles that you could solve in your sleep - or my new favorite scenario, "protecting" a colleague while they open a locked door for you. In this sort of environment I've found that the easiest way to deal with things is to simply jog around the room in slow circles like an aging man getting his hammies loose for a long distance run. I completely ignore the laughably slow undead trying to catch up to me, because they are defeated by running in slow ovals. Not exactly scary, now if our friend the Xenomorph from Alien: Isolation caught a glimpse of me out of the corner of its eye it would be on me like Thanksgiving dinner before I could utter a surprisingly feminine shriek - I mean a manly bearded..cry..of...something, shut up.

Long story short, The Evil Within is not as bad as I first thought. Is it still "bad?" In my case yes, in my own personal bubble I find this game to be lacking - however I'm finding that the more people I talk to about it seem to be enjoying the title. Maybe you'll find something I do not in the game, so by all means if your curiosity gland has been tickled - rent it, don't buy it unless you've got that kind of money just laying around. I myself will be pressing on with the hopes of completing the title, but something else comes first - a recent release that I have fallen completely in love with.

Sunset Overdrive is a title I've had my eye on since I first heard its name. While I may consider myself more of a "hardcore" gamer,  or whatever silly label I fall under, I do still believe in the idea that sometimes a game just needs to be fun. Not everything needs to be Dark Souls (as much as I love the struggle and the payoff). Sunset Overdrive puts fun at the very forefront of the game from the opening cinematic to the end.

In a nutshell, Sunset City is in the grips of an apocalypse caused by Fizzco - a soda peddling corporate giant who is launching their new beverage - Overcharge. Sunset City, being the lucky place that it is, is the first to be allowed an early access taste of Overcharge during a music pumping party. Your hero (who you get to choose and customize) is working as a garbage collector during the event when things go horribly wrong - Overcharge is a little more than energizing, it also  happens to mutate your DNA into horrible monstrosities called the OD - and they now flood the city in endless numbers. Thus the fun begins.

I don't really know what else to say, the title is funny, action packed, full of amazing guns (it is an Insomniac title after all), and just a downright blast to play. What you are left with here is a game that feels like you are playing a version of Tony Hawk - on speed - with better music - with GIGANTIC guns - TONS of enemies - and DID YOU SEE HIM GRINDING AROUND ON THE ROLLER COASTER? Sorry, I spent about half an hour just going around and around that thing. Sunset Overdrive is all about fun and style, you are at your most powerful while mobile - be it hopping off a bouncy umbrella or grinding along a train-track you'll find yourself constantly on the move. Once you get a grip on movement, which is only slightly difficult, the game becomes a symphony of beautiful destruction. Things called Amps also play a vital role in making the game more fun, as you progress through the story you'll unlock said Amps - these can range from Melee Amps that can do awesome things like make your melee swings shoot out waves of stunning electricity or Amps that directly effect your Hero, like making the ground you walk on rumble and shoot out gouts of burning lava. As you grind, wall-run, and bounce through the city you'll accrue style - if you throw in some fancy gun play you can even max out your style gauge causing all of your Amps to become active at the same time leading to some truly spectacular fights.

I don't have enough good things to say about the title, in fact as soon as I'm done here I'm going to go finish up the main story line. Sure, some of the jokes fall flat and the characters (besides your own hero) fall flat and are unremarkable at best - but guess what? None of that matters when you're grinding down a telephone line at 90mph with a rocket launcher that you've amped up to randomly cause nuclear explosions. Buckle in, drop your worries off at the front door, and believe me when I say that Sunset Overdrive is a must play and one of the few next-gen titles that TRULY impressed me.

Until next time, I've got some OD to deal with!

The Evil Within...the plastic box you just payed 64$ for.

Disappointment is in the air, much like the bittersweet smell of delicious cookies who spent too long in the oven thus becoming overdone monstrosities. Then again, you like cookies right - I know I sure as hell do. So, do you know what you're going to do? You're going to take a bite out of that burnt to hell cookie, smile at the person who made them for you, attempt not to vomit, and then pretend you liked it. Who knows, you may even eat one or two more just for kicks later, cookies are cookies after all right?

I really could leave my review of The Evil Within with that paragraph, alas my verbose nature will not allow me to do so. Beware dear readers, that wafting smell of fresh sugar cookies being baked in the oven does indeed smell tantalizing - but the product...the product is something different all together.

 

There was so much promise to this title, allow me to explain. The Evil Within, while not a Resident Evil game, is a title that evolved from Shinji Mikami's long running series of survival-horror games. Not only that, it feels and plays much like my personal favorite title of the Resident Evil series, Resident Evil 4. This portion of the Resident Evil family tree is highly regarded as one of the best games to come out of the IP, I'm sure some will argue against that but it's hard to call RE4 a bad game. Is it scary? Maybe to some people, I was scared by the first Resident Evil - though I imagine only because graphics were so humble back then that my imagination fired up the fear engines for me. While definitely more action based that its predecessors, the game play was amazing.

Both The Evil Within and Resident Evil 4 boast a 3rd person camera hovering just behind the protagonist's shoulder, allowing for quick switches into aiming down the sights of your pistol at whatever monstrosity is lumbering your way. The game, while less about the scare, kept your heart rate up due to the visceral nature of the combat and the fact that bullets weren't just lying around everywhere - every bullet counts.

Now, Mr. Mikami has returned to the genre he helped define with his entry into the next generation of  gaming - The Evil Within. Normally I would have information set aside about characters, setting, etc. - but honestly after completing 5 chapters of the game one would hope that you knew the main character's name...I do not, I know I've been told but I honestly just don't care. The protagonist reacts to gut-wrenching changes in reality, walking corpses, and demonic monstrosities bursting out of the dead like it's a damned trip to Baskin Robbins. Slight spoiler ahead (if you care).

At one point I had just gotten done wandering through a room literally waist deep with the blood and viscera of a myriad of slain people when a beast with multiple long clawed arms bursts out of a body and begins to chase me down a hall - his reaction? "What's your deal?" Really? What's your deal Mr. (or Miss) horrifically brutalized demon, why are you being such a meanie? How about a little, oh I dunno, screaming or even cursing whatever divine beings allowed such a creature to roam the Earth? Nope, not Mr. Protagonist - he seems completely cool even while said beast is smashing his head against the tiled floor until it pops open like a cantaloupe. 

In all honesty, the game is beautiful. The artists had a ball and you can tell, the environments are absolutely amazing to just wander around in - if only all the shitty game play could be taken out. Don't expect much evolution from Resident Evil 4, in fact I can say that it takes a few GIANT steps backwards. Saving now requires you to enter some strange dimension through random ornate mirrors you find scattered about the destroyed ruins you wander, not only that you must enter "mirror land" (which is an empty psychiatric hospital, original!) in order to spend your upgrade points to make your protagonist more resilient to having his head torn off his body. Nothing like taking stupid amounts of time out of a game that is supposed to build suspense in order to find a stupid mirror to spend stupid points (I've been calling them brain points because as far as I can tell that's what they are, little weird green jars of brain fluid).

Granted I have not completed the game, though I doubt I will - and perhaps everything turns around and the game is amazing. I've read reviews ranging from a measly two stars on a five star scale to a shocking 9.0 on a 10 scale, so there are some out there who do in fact enjoy the title. I'm not going to attempt to explain the story because frankly I have no idea what the fuck is going on at any given moment in time - if this was meant to add to the atmosphere it did not go as planned. When a new chapter begins your guess is as good as mine as to where I'll end up, will I continue on the path I was on or be teleported to a strange new area with little to no explanation besides "things are weird"?

I get it, distorting reality and all that - it is a cool touch but only if you do it right *cough Eternal Darkness cough* and this most certainly does not. The strange effects are neat to see, but other than that they are just fluff - plus that and it's hard to be scared of things when I have a crossbow that literally shoots arrows that stick into your target and then emit jets of flame at different angles in order to fry entire crowds of the shambling dead. Its not scary when I can turn around and shoot off a one liner to my fiance before I blow someone in half with a shotgun - that is not survival horror. 

Are there cool things about the game? Sure there are, am I glad to FINALLY see a protagonist take the undead seriously with the inclusion of collecting matches to burn the corpses of the foes you've slain...you know, just in case they come back? Hell yes I am, I love that touch, if I were fighting things that drift between the veil of life and death you can be damned sure I'm gonna douse the thing in gasoline and light it up faster than you can say "What the fuck was that thing?".

I could prattle on for ages, but here is what you can expect if the title still tugs on your curiosity as it did mine. You'll be running around through dilapidated villages, gore filled dungeons, and other mainstay settings for horror games dodging traps, setting traps, and shooting zombie things in the face when you have to. Though the gripes with this title are massive and you should consider pocketing that 60$ or maybe spending it on something actually scary - may I suggest Alien: Isolation? Or actually any of the other games coming out this month?

The experience boils down to a half baked 3rd person shooter that doesn't follow its own rules. Corpses on the ground are able to be burned by matches in order to prevent them from rising up at an inconvenient time, yet you'll wander into a room chock full of bodies, matches at the ready, and the game will not allow you to torch them because they have to get up and try to kill you in a scripted event soon. Boom, all hopes of scariness gone. When I'm standing in an empty room full of ammo and only one dead body on the floor that I for some reason cannot burn I can't help but shake my head. Oh dear, I wonder what's going to happen with that weird body, oh wait it got up / exploded / turned into a boss. Yawn. Yawn x100000. Thumbs down.