Ever since I can remember I have taken a shine to things that get you pushed over in the hallways of middle school. Books, video games, not playing football, you name it I was all about it.
It's strange to think that the most formative years of my life were spent on a little game called Everquest. Now now, I can feel you snicker from here, let's not be hasty. High school is a scary place, mostly for one reason. At that age, I cared about how people viewed me. I believe it is safe to say that most people care about their reputations in the social murder pens of high school.
I had friends, I spent most of my time with the "stoner" kids (as many of them were friends from my previous school). I didn't really have anything in common with them at the time, it was just a place where I could duck down and not be noticed. I played soccer every year, and was generally a nice guy. However, come the weekend I would get invited to a party at so and so's house and would always say that I'd be there - with no intention of actually going.
Something about standing around a house watching people drink didn't appeal to me. I'm not sure what it was, oh wait yeah I do. It was fucking boring. OMGz Stephany is totally having a party at her place cuz her parentz are out of town! Oh boy! Count me in! I can't wait to watch douchebags in wife-beaters drink Coor's and attempt to hit some skanky popular girl ass.
So no, I did not go. I stayed home. I sat alone in my computer room with the lights dimmed, a 12 pack of Coke, and had some of the best years of my life.
It sounds ridiculous, I know. Believe me, I'm sure I was the poster child of the falsities of video game addiction and social malaise, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth.
While you were pretending to like Miller Lite and hoping someone would ask you to prom I was discovering who I was, and making some of the longest lasting friendships I will ever have. Not to mention killing gods.
I'm not belittling how you spent high-school. I'm sure it was great. The point I'm trying to make is that I wish everyone was self aware enough at that age to be who they actually were. I was ridiculed, pushed around, made fun of, and roughed up. It was really bad my freshman year of high school, but eventually I realized in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. Not one fucking bit. Why? I had somewhere safe to go, an entire world where people like that didn't exist.
Sure, some of my fondest memories take place in a world that was not real. The experiences, however, were real. Not to mention the friendships I created while spending time in Norrath. I met one of my best friends on EQ about 12 years ago, and we still have not met in person. Yet we talk every day and still play games on a daily basis.
Neither am I condoning spending all of your time indoors, everyone needs to be healthy. I do not advocate spending your entire life indoors, the real world has plenty to offer in the way of adventure. Though, if you do not feel called towards such things, don't fake it. Let the geek flag fly, you'll be better off for it.
I did not mean for this to turn into a public service announcement, but it seems to have taken a turn in that direction. I'm also becoming so overwhelmingly nostalgic that I had to start playing Limp Bizkit in the background. That's some old school shit.
The point is, the gaming world was once a safe haven for people like me. Nearly everyone you played with was like you - you had something in common. A kindred spirit perhaps. I know there are still people out there who remember how to properly clear a beach head in The Plane of Fear, who know how hard it was to finish your Epic quests, and who used to stay awake till the sun crept over the horizon while they were shopping in The Bazaar.
They were good times, times that could not last forever. For all good things come to an end, and the sanctity of video games is one of those things. You cry out, why! What has changed?
It's really quite simple. The great portcullis that separated our world from the mundane was ripped asunder. You stormed our streets and razed our carefully built towers. Our peace was shattered, you made our world your own. Since then we have had to eke out and existence among the rocks and charred remains of our world.
The very people who used to point at us and declare us losers now share our virtual space. You raid with us, collect gear with us, and inhabit our guilds. You corrupt, twist, break, and destroy a world we held as sacred.
No one is truly to blame, but I like to place the burden upon Halo. Thanks Master Chief, I'm super glad that now when I log onto Xbox live to play a game there is a 99% chance some shitcock frat boy is on the other end of a sniper rifle calling me a queer.
Whatever, fine. You can have the First Person Shooters - they aren't really my bag anyways, but no - you wanted more. You were not content with your testosterone filled gunfights. More always more. Now the hallowed ground of the MMO has become your territory as well. You may not admit it in public, but many of you invaded at the advent of World of Warcraft - the great harbinger of doom for massively multiplayer games.
What changed, why has gaming become so mainstream? Don't get me wrong, I'm elated to see an industry I am so in tune with blossom and grow. I love that new blood is being introduced, but with every transfusion there are some cells bent only on destruction.
Games became easy. Pure and simple. When I started Everquest at the precocious age of 11 there was no forgiveness in the virtual realm. Death carried a penalty. Hours of work spent on leveling your character were lost. I reached the maximum level of EQ not days, weeks or months after I started - but YEARS. The character I had crafted had become an extension of myself, and I still answer to his name to this day when talking to old friends who knew me then.
I have not played EQ since I was about 18, but it still sticks with me as a golden age. The game was hard, people were afraid of it, and to succeed you needed devoted friends who would help you. Time was the chief resource needed to succeed in this world, and I was committed.
Enter present day gaming, what does dying in a game like WoW cause? Nothing. You lose the tiniest fraction of in game currency repairing your gear. How terrifying. Now anyone with two usable hands can wander around being a dick bag with no fear of reprisal.
The advent of Player vs. Player in the online world also changed things. Now, not only can said dick bag generally do whatever he pleases - but he can now kill you, sit on your body, and murder you over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER until he gets bored. Wonderful. Now we can't escape being bullied in a virtual environment. Good.
I'd like to quote the gentlemen of Penny Arcade when I say - normal person + internet anonymity = fucking tool. Every shithead in the world now knows they have a microphone where they can spout whatever the fuck they want into cyberspace and feel like a tough guy. Respect (which was even sometimes hard to find in the golden years) has all but died out.
This is not so much a rant as it is a lament. A dirge I hum under my breath every time some prick spams a general chat channel with whatever garbage is rolling around in his or her excuse for a brain. Courtesy and respect are things of the past. Today, we trade in the currency of bravado and cruelty. The bigger the asshole you are, the more powerful you become. Those who stop to help those in need are trampled into the dirt by the power hungry masses. There is no time to aid others, only yourself. Go ahead, steal that item off of the boss you and twenty other people you don't know just spent an hour killing. You won't ever see them again right? It's just a stupid game right? Right?
We need to reclaim the ways of the past. The worlds we spend our time relaxing in need to be made safe once more. This is why I am here. One way or another I will create a place that tries to minimize the corrupt and rewards the honorable. A place where those seeking the easy path filled with lying, cheating, and stealing will not be comfortable.
A place that punishes. Not only the unjust, but the just. Life is not easy, life is a struggle. Overcoming trouble is one of the most satisfying things a person can do. Those with steadfast friends, and who are willing to band together for each other will succeed. The maverick douche bags of present day will weep when they can't blaze through content in under a week.
Will it sell? Probably not. As a race we enjoy being spoon fed, but as I write this I know there are many of you out there like me. People who enjoy the camaraderie, people who still talk to their so called "fake internet" friends. People who remember the friends that took you on your first raid. Who let you into your first guild meeting. Who passed on that new piece of gear just because they knew you needed it more than they. Who sat with you for hours every single day to make sure you got the item you needed.
These are the people I miss the most. In recent days they have become rare, some of them even jaded and twisted to fit into the current state of mind. They have started playing the "game".
There are those of us who remember. Those of us who know that it wasn't about "playing a computer game". It was about forging relationships through hardship and toil. About being part of something that we all loved and that we could share with each other. About exploring distant worlds with people you trusted with your life. It was wonderful, and sadly it is over. I know I will never reclaim that same feeling, but if I can draw those emotions out of one person with the games I will make then I will know I lived my life well.
This all got serious quickly. Next time I'll try not to wax philosophic and stick to something more humorous, but this seemed important at the time.
