Praise The Angel Combustion!

Greetings once more internet Hivemind! I recently concluded a wonderful Honeymoon in France with my wife, outside of jet-lag feeling like someone is constantly throwing hammers at my face - everything is amazing. I won't go into the details of the full trip as this is not why I (or you) am here, but Paris is an amazing place with so much to see - it was absolutely the best, just the best.

Onward to the topic of today! While I get back into my short-story mode, I'll let the bachelor party D&D story rest for a while longer - today we have other things to discuss. Gather your scrap, strap on spikes to repel boarders, and work those gun-powder stained fingers to the bone - it is time for Mad Max!

That feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach is a common one - franchise games more often than not find themselves on top of the bargain bin at your local Best Buy after about a week. I am pleased to relay that Mad Max is far from a bargain bin seller, in a time-period where I owned both Mad Max and the newest iteration of the Metal Gear series - I time and time again found myself drawn to the wasteland of Mad Max over the critically acclaimed pedigree of Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain. Why? Well, Mad Max is just plain fun.

In the words of the venerable Ken Levine - Anyone who doesn't think the Mad Max game is fun is a massive schlanger. I could not agree more. As you can see from the video above - the game is absolutely gorgeous. I was treated to visual spectacle after spectacle as I roamed around the wasteland in my car (an inanimate object that becomes just as much of a leading character as Max himself). Giant sandstorms can come whipping through the canyons and valleys with little warning, and when I say giant I mean giant. If you do not properly seek cover during the storm you and your car will be tossed around, struck by lightning, and ripped asunder by fierce winds. 

I have completed the story, and as it goes with many sandbox games, I now have much left over to tackle. There are a series of strongholds that Max utilizes throughout the game that can be upgraded in order to give Max a bonus for stopping by - such as a full water canteen, or full ammo and gas for your car. The outlying wastelands beyond these strongholds are filled with enemies,  enemy strongholds, giant scarecrows meant to terrify the locals, snipers, minefields....you name it, it's out there and it wants you dead.By clearing out camps and other obstacles, the threat in a certain stronghold's region will drop - unlocking specialized customization options for your car (well named The Magnum Opus). 

Your car becomes an extension of your play style quickly, with a multitude of bodies to build from and different upgrades you could find yourself in one of many configurations. I myself opted for light armor, blazing speed, top notch handling and firepower. It works out quite well, until I get cornered by an especially tenacious group of Roadkill warriors - a few heavy shots to my car means certain death. You could build a car just the opposite, a fully decked out tank of a vehicle that can take a beating for ages - but doing so will sacrifice speed and maneuverability. From paint job, to engine choice The Magnum Opus truly is your creation and effects how you play the rest of the game.

Max himself also comes with a fair share of upgrades. Melee combat hearkens back to the Batman: Arkham series (not a bad thing) though much simpler. Fighting and countering become second nature and never seems to get dull. Pulling in an especially annoying opponent in a headlock, placing your double-barreled shotgun into his gut and blasting him ten feet into the air is cathartic indeed. Parrying at perfect moments opens up opportunities for instant kills, and fighting long enough drives Max into a Fury where his blows become thunderous and instant kills are even easier to achieve.  Max himself can upgrade everything from the tools he carries to his fist weapons and armor. Even cosmetic options are unlocked to give your Max the look you want. Aside from these, as you progress through the wasteland Max will "level-up" gaining tokens that can be spent at the mysterious Griffa to boost your stats further. These can range from gathering extra water, obtaining more ammo from looting, gaining more scrap (which is used to upgrade), or even gaining more health from eating food. 

The customization options are legion and help create an experience tailored to how you want the game to play. There are races, convoys to chase down (who drop hood ornaments that further augment your car's stats), and of course enemy camps to take down. These camps were my favorite portion of the game. Each camp comes with a set of defenses that you need to tear down with your car before proceeding on foot into the base proper and dealing with the denizens or objectives within. If you are like me and prefer the brute force method, you'll spend time firing harpoons into the siege towers and yanking them to the ground, destroying massive gates by either ramming them into submission or firing off some rounds from your "Thunderpoon" (basically an RPG). If you are the stealthy type (which I myself am not) there are usually hidden ways to enter a base where you can begin your devastation from inside the base. Wasteland dwellers can often be found on the outskirts of these camps and can provide helpful intel - hidden entrances, boss weaknesses, and other bits of info come in handy when making choices on how to tackle an especially tough situation. 

There are only a few complaints I have. One, while the story is entertaining and there certainly are moments that make you feel like Mad Max to the fullest, it felt more like an afterthought in the end. Just another objective in the way of me charging into my next camp and wreaking havoc with flame and fist. Another, which has caused me to throw my controller a few times admittedly, is the seemingly perfect ability of enemy vehicles to strike you in just the right spot and spin you around in a clumsy loop. I can't count how many races or convoy attacks were thwarted through an enemy car tapping me on the side and sending me into a cataclysmic spin - then again, if my car weren't so light and had more armor I bet I could have shoved back even harder. 

I highly recommend this title, you can drop in for an hour and play without feeling like nothing was accomplished or binge for days on end. I myself have over 24 hours invested into the title, a rare feat these days when free-time is becoming more and more of a rare commodity. I'm going to keep this one short as I need to dive back into MGS:V and see if I can force myself to finish it for a fair review. Otherwise, I will be reporting back with a review of SOMA - Frictional Games' newest title (the creators of Amnesia: the Dark Descent). Until then, pick up Mad Max and send your enemies to Valhalla - SHINY AND CHROME!!

Until Dawn

Behold, I have returned to the Internet once more. It has been a while, so in the interest of warming back up...it has begun. It is once again the season where the heavy hitters of the gaming industry come out swinging - the new Metal Gear came out today in fact, I'm sure we'll be speaking about that sooner than later. On the other hand, something else came out - something I had never heard of before (a rare feat for such a widely praised game). 

If you're anything like me, you spend most of your time during horror movies bemoaning the dimwitted decisions of the poor souls on-screen. Why, just why would they go in that room? How do they not see these things coming? Until Dawn has had enough of your sass and puts you in a classic horror movie situation and gives you control - if you're so damned smart then things shouldn't be a problem right? Right?

Until Dawn, developed by Supermassive Games, places you in the age old scenario of teens + old winter cabin + complete isolation + murder. A group of students return to their friend's sprawling winter cabin (when I say sprawling I mean sprawling) on the anniversary of the disappearance of two members of their group. All the ingredients you could possibly need for a good ol' hack and slash - and that's what you're going to get. 

Not only that, and this is without any sort of spoilers of course, the flow of the narrative is interrupted by someone known as The Analyst. He, who is also a freakishly lifelike rendering of actor Peter Stormare, probes you with tests like a psychiatrist - questioning you about how you are feeling, your fears, and your anxieties. 

 

Also, yes indeed that is Hayden Panettiere and she does a wonderful job in the title. Massive respect goes out to those that brought this title to life, the environments, characters, animation, sound design, composing, voice acting, and well - pretty much everything else are absolutely top notch. When my only complaint with a game is - it's kind of hard to direct your hand holding a light source, but not really I'm just bad at it - then you can believe without a doubt that this title is worth your time.

Will it scare you? I'm a vetreran of a thousand deaths both supernatural and mundane, I have viewed many of the horrors film has brought to life, and yeah sure this game scared me once or twice - but I was too busy having fun to care if it was actually scary, I was too busy slowly falling in love with my cast of characters...who I can barely keep alive apparently.

It's true, every choice you make does indeed have an effect on the game ahead. I can see in the video above that there are massive game changing situations that could have happened to me had I made another choice, some negative some positive. Is your character doing something as mundane as a quick time event based on hopping from rock to rock? Did you just trip and spend a little bit of time climbing back up on the rocks to continue? Well, get over it because you just changed the entire out come of the game by not pressing triangle when you should have. 

Until Dawn demands your attention, and doesn't even really need to. You'll be on the edge of your seat with your controller gripped in your hands, waiting for the next second you need to make a life saving (or ending) choice. The idea of the "Butterfly Effect" is present throughout the game, as choices literally have a Butterfly Effect on the rest of your game - and after these game changing choices are made they are logged in your journal for you to peruse later. The best part? There is no warning of which choice will have a bigger effect than another - something as trivial as moving something from one place to another could have more effect than firing a gun.

I have yet to complete the game, but it is only a matter of time before I finish it. Though I can see replay value being high in a title where there are so many paths you could take. I can't praise this title any more than I have - do yourself a favor if you own a PS4 and pick up Until Dawn.

 

 

From slightly before dusk till slightly after dawn - Part Two

Happy E3 all my fellow gamers! Feast upon the glorious trove of delicious trailers, gorge on the hype! Before we return to our story, I’ll quickly go over a quick list of things I’m squealing like a child on Christmas about:

-          -New Doom

-         -The Last Guardian lives

-        - Final Fantasy VII Remake (mixed feelings of terror and euphoria)

-          Dishonored 2

-          Uncharted 4

-          Metal Gear 5

-          There are turning out to be way too many things to list

Needless to say things are finally looking up with such a bountiful harvest of games on the horizon. As I recall, however, I think we were in the middle of something.

Part 2

                “Scimitars are such bad-guy weapons.” Fenwick said, flipping through the pages of his spell-book. “You never see a nice guy with a scimitar, just saying.” The four adventurers, now no longer enjoying a nice rest at a tavern, faced a group of (scimitar wielding) skeletons. The nearest of the rattling fiends stepped into scimitar-ing range of Kinanar. If the skeleton could have raised an eyebrow it would have, lacking the capacity to do so it raised its notched blade into the air and took a swing at the strangely calm Paladin. The scimitar bit into the steel plate, the dwarf did not budge. The blade clattered off, leaving a scratch on the plate – nothing more.

                “My turn.” Kinanar said, his war-hammer whistled through the air and crashed into the skull of the skeleton. The dusty bone disintegrated under the weight of the blow – the rest of the skeleton’s body cartwheeled to the left and landed in a noisy pile of armor and bones. Kinanar smiled in satisfaction.

                “Really?” Chest said from across the room. The Halfling had somehow managed to make his way around the entire group of skeletons without being noticed. He now stood behind the farthest away of their enemies, his daggers were in his hands – it had been too late for his target long ago. The skeleton’s chest exploded as two small hands holding daggers exploded through it, the rest of the fiend toppled to the ground. “My turn?” Chest slid his daggers back into his hand, he reached to a nearby tower and seized the nearest tankard – he took a cautionary sniff but took a deep drink. “You talk like someone is following you around recording everything you say.” Kinanar grumbled and definitely did not blush. “Has Scrambles…oh wait nevermind he’s working on it already.” Chest dropped into the nearest seat, content to let his friends finish off the remaining enemies.

                “My skinless friend – it need not be this way.” The huge man had his arms wrapped around another of the skeletons. The demon struggled weakly in the gigantic man’s grasp – its scimitar pressed firmly to its side by the man’s arms. “Shhhhhhhh.” The big man whispered.

                “Someone should really take care of the other guy.” Chest said. “Hey Trailmix, that’s you.” Fenwick’s mouth dropped open.

                “Did you seriously just call me Trailmix?” The elf said, aghast. Chest shrugged and continued nursing his new drink. Fenwick shouted in an arcane language, three bolts of light shrieked across the room. The final skeleton paused, looked at the glowing lights slowly approaching it, and did its best to sigh. The bolts connected, the skeleton exploded into bits of ash and charred bone. “Next time you’re hungry you can find your own snacks.” Fenwick murmured, annoyed.

                “I’m trying to watch this if you don’t mind.” Kinanar said, the dwarf had pulled a chair from nearby and sat watching Scrambles attempt to calm the wriggling skeleton. “I could watch this all day, I don’t know how he does it.” The skeleton’s thrashing had become less dramatic, less panicked. Scrambles continually whispered soft words into where the skeleton’s ear would be…if it had ears…and was alive. The rusty scimitar it held dropped to the ground, it stopped fighting altogether. Scrambles lifted his head out of the crook of the skeleton’s neck and shoulder, his eyes pooling with moisture.

                “That’s right.” Scrambles said. “Suffer no more.” The skeleton’s head bowed forward.

                “How does that even work on a skeleton?” Kinanar said, not hiding his awe. The skeleton was completely still, having found some sort of peace in the scarred arms of Scrambles. In a flash, the arms flexed and pulled inward – the skeleton exploded in a gout of dust and vicious crunching. Scrambles made no loud boasts, his eyes were far away – twin trails of tears carving valleys through the dust on his face. Chest, meanwhile, he stepped out of his chair – moving toward the still ajar doors of the tavern, someone had to close them after all.  “Wait.” Kinanar said, Chest stopped – he could hear it too.

                “Seriously?” Fenwick sighed. “Do skeletons actually kill people?” He glanced around the room at the terrified bar patrons. “Oh right, normal people – they kill you guys sometimes.” He took a step toward the door, his keen ears picking up the sound of metal armor, and the smell of heat was on the air. “These are different.” Chest was no longer at the door, in fact he was no longer in sight at all. Kinanar stood up from his chair and swung his war-hammer back into his hands. Scrambles was still recovering from his latest emotional encounter, his big hands wiping away the dust covering his face.

                Four more skeletons entered the bar, the adventurers groaned. These were not your garden variety, throw 500 at them, garbage type skeleton. These were different, the air around them bent and shifted as if a great heat radiated from their bones. Armor hid most of their rattling bones, it too seemed as though it would be hot to the touch. They held long wicked blades that dragged on the ground, cutting ruts into the wooden floor of the tavern. Kinanar frowned.

                “Everyone stay down, once we clear these out we need to get those doors closed as soon as possible.” Kinanar said, he felt something stir outside in the tenebrous dark. The first skeleton was already on him. “Faster than your friends?” Kinanar said, still holding his ground.” The skeleton did not hesitate, its blade flashed through the air. Noticing the strength behind his opponent’s blow, Kinanar attempted to step out of the way – but too late. The sword sliced through his armor, and bit into the skin beneath. Kinanar grimaced, only a flesh would – but the first blood their new attackers had spilled nonetheless.

From slightly before dusk till slightly after dawn - Part One

Greetings once more everyone. It has been a while, but this time I actually have an excuse! Firstly, I got married to the most wonderful woman in the world, and secondly I have finally finished the first draft of my first full-length novel! I will of course be showering the world with details as the project progresses - but there is still much to do before I can even begin seeking a home for it. It has been an amazing few weeks to say the least.

Now, as we all know - weddings entail things like bachelor parties. Bachelor parties have always been a strange thing to me. My alcohol tolerance is that of a 13 year old girl, and I'm what you could call "indoorsy."  Enter the world's nerdiest bachelor party (I'm sure there is nerdier out there no doubt). I have wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons for...well almost my entire life. My various groups of friends growing up weren't into that sort of thing - so the whole D&D world passed me by.

When it came time to plan my party, that was the first and best choice that popped into my head - let's play some damned D&D (well technically we played Pathfinder, but close enough). Instead of rambling on and on about the rules of the game, all the various dice rolls, and the boring bits - I'm going to attempt to hammer our short campaign into a story. Strap on those goofy ass sport goggle-glasses things, get out those pocket protectors, and push those glasses up on the bridge of your nose - it's D&D story time.

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The tavern was...well...a tavern. The four companions were tired, and the dwarf had been ceaselessly complaining about the lack of alcohol in the vampire's castle - though he did seem to cheer up at the sound of glasses clinking and boisterous conversation.

"I need a drink." Kinanar said. The Dwarf was kitted head to toe in armor bearing all of the embellishments of a talented Dwarven blacksmith. Strapped to his back was a less than pristine war-hammer, he would get around to cleaning off all of the gooey vampire blood and skeleton bits once he got his hands on some ale. Walking next to him, a halfling held up both of his hands - all ten fingers extended.

"Ten times." Chest said. Chest Rockwell was a halfling, but no regular halfling. Whereas most of his folk preferred to spend their time relaxing and generally keeping to themselves, Chest could not resist the call of the open road. "You've said that ten times since we started walking toward the tavern." Chest swirled his black cloak dramatically and trudged ahead, the daggers strapped to his waist flashed in the moonlight. Kinanar grumbled something under his breath and continued walking.

"I've got some....water!" Fenwick shouted from behind them, their Elven companion and spell-caster  of the group said attempting to help. "Oh, berries! I've got sooo many berries." Elves like nature. No one answered him, the tavern was closing in. Fenwick shrugged and dug into his stash of nature-candy. After gobbling down a handful or two, Fenwick turned to see the last member of their strange group down on his knees. "Wait!" Fenwick called to the two walking ahead.

"Oh Gods not this again." Kinanar said. The final member of their group stood nearly seven feet tall. A mane of wild fire-red hair covered his head. A thick cloak of wolf fur cascaded down his back, partially obscuring the hilariously large bastard sword he carried on his back - yet the man knelt on the ground, the palms of his scarred hands pressed into his eyes - the sound of light sobbing could be heard. "What is it now big guy?" The man, known as Scrambles the Death-Dealer, looked up - his mouth quivered, his eyes puffy and red.

"Oh don't let him start we're almost ther....." Chest attempted, but was cut off. He groaned audibly.

"I feel an endless ocean of pain," the big man said, he gestured to the ground - there lay a dead rabbit, "a boundless sea of solitude, to be alone in death is to be alone in eternity." The big man doubled over, wracked by another bout of sobbing. "If I had been here, I could have helped its passing!" He cried out to the stars above, shaking fists at the sky as if to defy the Gods above him. Scrambles...well...Scrambles was different - though his prowess in battle could not be ignored, no matter how strange his techniques. Fenwick leaned down next to the giant of a man.

"Would some berries help?" Elves like nature. Scrambles looked to his comrade, giant glassy eyes blinking rapidly.

"Yes, perhaps the bounty the poor beast fed upon will give me strength to continue." Scrambles accepted a handful of berries, eating all but two - these he placed on the tiny rabbit's eyes, like some sort of rabbit currency for the rabbit guard of the rabbit river of Styx.

"I'M GOING INSIDE NOW!" Chest called from the door of the tavern impatiently. Kinanar half-ran half-skipped to the door - his mouth watering at the thought of a cold beverage. Fenwick and Scrambles followed suit.

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The tavern was sparsely populated, though there were a few customers lounging around the bar and at some of the tables scattered about the establishment. A rip-roaring drunk of a man stumbled about the room, attempting to find a group to attach himself to for the evening - he did not seem to be having any luck. The music floating from the lute of the bard sitting not far from the door stopped at the four companions entrance, a look of genuine interest appearing on his face.

"Adventurers! Finally!" He swung his lute around so that it rested on his back, he extended a hand and vigorously shook each of the member's hands, Scrambles smiled down at him benevolently. "I was beginning to run out of material," he eyed the companions up and down, noticing the state of their gear he assumed battle was something they commonly faced, "and here you stand, flush from another conflict! Please, tell me what happened!"

An awkward silence filled the tavern, the four looked back and forth at each other and shrugged.

"I killed at least thirty undead." Kinanar said nonchalantly, as if it were just a normal day.

"Skeletons?!" The bard asked, furiously putting quill to parchment.

"Definitely, mopped up about 10 of those." Kinanar said, glaring at his companions, daring them to correct him. "Bunch of zombies, oh and four vampires...nothing too serious for a," he cleared his throat dramatically, "for a...Paladin!" The bard continued to scribble, enraptured by the tale. Chest rolled his eyes. Kinanar opened his mouth to continue, but the bard moved down the line - looking up at Fenwick with excitement in his eyes.

"How about you?" The bard said, dipping his quill in a portable bottle of ink. "What monstrosities did you face?"

"I..." Fenwick struggled for an answer, "...vaporized...an entire legion of undead thralls!" The bard gaped.

"A legion??" He scribbled furiously. "Amazing!" Kinanar scrunched his mouth in disapproval, though it was hard to tell underneath the beard. The bard scooted down the line to Chest, who was attempting to squeeze out of the interaction and head toward the bar. The bard stopped him short with a hand on the shoulder. "I'm sure you have a great thirst to quench after your latest adventure," the bard continued, "but please I beg you, just a few more details and I'll have a song worthy of your adventure...and possibly some coin!" Chest turned around and eyed the bard with no small amount of annoyance. The halfling whipped out his two daggers faster than any of the crew could see and spun them in flashing circles around his fingers. The bard stopped talking, his mouth hung open - the spinning stopped, and with a flick of his wrists Chest sent both daggers shrieking across the tavern. They struck an empty wooden tankard placed on an unoccupied table, ripped it from its place and pinned it to the wall. The bar silenced for a brief second, a few people clapped, and chatter resumed. Chest pushed passed the bard to retrieve his daggers, the bard was too busy writing to stop him this time. He looked up from his parchment and moved to Scrambles.

"You have the look of a great warrior about you, how about yourself?" The bard asked, prepared to write as always. Scrambles' eyes took on a glassy look, as though he were peering inward. Kinanar and Fenwick sighed - they left the two and joined Chest at a table. Scrambles' lips pressed together in a tight white line, as though the words held within caused him unspeakable pain.

"So many required my help." He said finally, his big eyes watering up once more. "They were lucky to receive my embrace, to guide them to the final rest." The bard cocked an eyebrow in confusion, then saw the man's arms. Unlike his pristine sword (it looked barely used actually), his arms were knotted with scars, fresh cuts, scabs, and even wounds that looked like bite marks.

"When you say embrace..." the bard said, "...you mean your actual embrace, as in you hugged them?" Scrambles bobbed his head in a sullen nod, though a smile played at his lips.

"Everything, be it monster, man, demon, or demi-god should not face the long journey without a warm embrace." Scrambles wiped at his eyes and smiled brightly. The bard, though a little more than confused, scribbled on his parchment a bit more before returning his quill to his small pack.

"What a tale!" The bard allowed himself a grin. "A round of drinks on me for my new friends!" He called over the the barkeep, she was currently tending to a small child that skipped around behind the bar singing. She looked up and nodded - lining up five glasses and filling them with ale. The bard and Scrambles joined the rest of the group at the rickety wooden table, the bar patron brought over their beverages. Everyone seized a tankard, the bard raised his into the air -  "To adventure!" The rest of the company did not echo his cheer, the bard guzzled his ale - the group eyed him strangely. Kinanar felt a tickle in his mind. Do you think he's going to sit here the whole time? It was Fenwick, Kinanar scrunched his eyebrows together and thought back to the Elf. Is this really the time for magic? Fenwick shrugged from across the table, just curious, something doesn't feel rig-

The bard made a wet choking noise, his hand grabbed the center of his tunic - pulling at the strings keeping it tight. His skin turned from a healthy tan to a ghastly white, he stumbled heavily into the table, righted himself for a moment, and then collapsed to the ground. Kinanar jumped out of his seat, the Dwarf began to move to the Bard but was stopped by the shout of a woman they had not noticed. Judging from her attire she was a Cleric, she approached the fallen bard quickly - her eyes full of concern.

"Get back!" She cried, Kinanar stopped his approach. The bar was quiet, everyone watched - and then the door rocked against its hinges loudly. The four companions looked up.

"Don't like the sound of that." Chest said, wiping ale from his mouth as he got out of his seat. As if in answer to the halfling, the door burst inward. From the darkness came the sound of dry rattling and steel meeting steel in a strange jagged rhythm. Not human steps. Kinanar thought to himself. Four skeletons entered the tavern, the eyeless sockets scanning the room - rusty notched blades in-hand. 

The tavern erupted into chaos, patrons clambered to the back of the building - the barkeep and her progeny ducked behind the bar. The lead skeleton locked his empty gaze on the table of four and let out a dry shriek - his companions echoed it and began moving toward them.

"I'm not finished drinking yet." Kinanar said. He snatched his tankard off the table and guzzled what was left. Ale flowed around the lip of the cup and doused his beard, foam covered the tip of his nose. He let out a contented sigh. "Alright," he let out an un-Paladinlike belch and stood once more. He snagged the haft of his warhammer and flipped it into his hands, he kicked his chair out of the way and eyed the skeletons. "You know we just got done turning a whole castle of you lot into dust." The skeletons seemed unimpressed.

Chest already had his daggers out and had circled around the room quietly, now waiting off to the side of the group of skeletons. Scrambles looked up, pity filled his eyes.

"Do not fear my friends," Scrambles bellowed to the skeletons, "I will release you from your undeath and guide you to endless fields of green!" Fenwick moved a few steps behind his companions, spell-book already in hand.

"Just don't-" Fenwick started.

"Right, we know," Kinanar said, he mimed his best Elf voice, "don't let you get stabbed." The Dwarf laughed.

"Hey." Fenwick barked. "I'm basically wearing a dress here, want to trade armor?" Kinanar did his best to pretend he did not hear him. 

The skeletons closed in.

One step forward, one giant fall off of a cliff backward.

I haven't been able to post for some time due to my insane schedule as of late - work combined with school combined with getting married in OHMYGODLESSTHANAMONTH. I'm fine, I'm cool - ok anyways let's move.

My timeline as a person is tied very closely to video games (and other things of course, but for the sake of this post...just games), from opening up my first NES and attempting to land that damned plane on the aircraft carrier in Top Gun (IMPOSSIBLE) to the PS4s and Xbox Ones of today. I love video games, I always have and always will - though, like most loves, it has been tested close to the point of breaking during this "Next-Generation" of gaming we have entered. Allow me to elaborate.

Once upon a time, in a time not so long ago there were consoles that WANTED you to play games on them - for besides the odd DVD night, playing games was their purpose in life. User interfaces were uncomplicated and honestly, most of the time I barely noticed them because I could just toss my game and and off we went on whatever adventure I was destined for that day.  If you can recall with me, how many steps between you and playing your new video game were there back in the era of N64's and the original Playstation? One - you put the game in...and then you played it.

Fast forward to the present. One of my favorite and most respected series recently released the next title in their line of amazing games - Bloodborne. Bloodborne, if you do not know, is another spiritual successor to the Demon's/Dark Souls games that all hold a place in the upper echelon of what I consider to be truly good games. The game itself is absolutely amazing, I'm not here to lampoon Bloodborne's game play in any way - I loved the experience and have already completed the game.  What I am going to attack is this:

 How much do you like this screen? Do you like it enough to stare at it for nearly TWO minutes every single time you load? Well, hopefully you do because you're going to. We have become so graphics obsessed that every next-gen game leaves you enough time to cook a Thanksgiving meal before the next screen loads - completely sucking the tension out of an otherwise amazing game. Something about staring at a shitty font for 30 minutes in one play session starts to become frustrating as you could imagine. This becomes especially cumbersome when you have to travel to more than one area - that's two loading screens for the price of one!

Let's jump back again, remember the good old days of the first Halo or Mario Kart 64? How easy it was to have an absolute blast with your friends, crowded together on a couch screaming at the douchebag that just released a blue shell at you or who smacked you in the face with an RPG from across Blood Gulch? Worst case scenario, another friend would bring their console, you hook them up, and boom 8 players instead of four - now you've got a party. Couch Co-op has taken a back seat in favor of the pay to play services advertised by most console providers - for example the Souls series never charged for use of their online mode (an integral feature to experiencing the whole game) until the release of Bloodborne. After putting my game in, downloading it from a disc SITTING IN THE DAMNED CONSOLE for an hour, then INSTALLING it for another half an hour, I finally had the game ready to go. I started and was immediately greeted by a window telling me I needed to purchase a PS+ membership to access the online functionality of Bloodborne.

I already am trapped paying for Xbox Live, now I get bent over another 10$ a month barrel just so I can play a game with a friend maybe once a week. I begrudgingly let go of yet another ten dollars of my not so disposable income....and have used the online functionality about twice - because the lag between host and player is insane. Sure, I can play with my friend - but you know what isn't fun in a game where dying actually carries consequence? Getting cut in half by a giant monster you didn't even see swing his 30 foot sword at you because the game's frame rate took a dip into the pits of hell.

Thankfully some titles, the Borderlands series for example, are putting in the work to make couch co-op return and I am eternally grateful.

Being able to sit with my fiance on our couch and tear through legions of bandits has been an absolute blast and Borderlands deserves extra kudos for making this type of multiplayer happen.

Let's get back to that rant shall we? Now, I know it's painful and gross, but there is a hideous boil lingering on all of these next-gen consoles. It is not a new infection, in fact its roots can be traced back to the last generation of consoles, yet it has steadily grown in infection rate and severity. I'm talking of course about - DLC. The closest thing to a four letter word I can think of in the gaming industry. The way 90% of companies handle downloadable content add-ons for their games is absolutely sickening, why? I'm glad you asked.

While Kotaku isn't exactly a place I'd go to find anything trusted about gaming - this visual aid I found is just what I wanted in order to help explain this ridiculous process. Back in the Golden Ages we were given a full game on release date. Everything was finished, polished, and sold for full price - because well, it was a full game! Sounds like a fair deal to me, if the game was a success the ravenous fan base would be rewarded with expansion packs that cost less than the full game they already purchased, now you have hours and hours of extra content for the game you thought was over - wonderful!!

Things started to take a downswing as the 2000's progressed. We still bought full games, but the expansion packs seemed to just be logical add-ons to a game we already played. We still bought them because it was still a relatively fresh concept - and we still wanted more content for our games. So, as this may have not been perfect, I went along with it.

Welcome to the present! Now we have the luxury of AAA gaming companies like EA and Activision (these are NOT the only offenders, merely the biggest) selling us incomplete games where the extra content is ALREADY on the disc you purchased. To put it in another way - you buy a game for full price that already contains all of the downloadable content on it that will be released later. All of these extra goodies are locked away behind a big dollar sign - but you can have them if you shell out an extra 5 or 10 bucks every now and then. Before you know it, you've paid double what the game is actually worth ONLY to access content ALREADY PRESENT on the game you ALREADY purchased. See a problem here? No wonder large game companies are doing so well, all they have to do is sell one game and make money as though they were selling two. 

At this point my Xbox One and PS4 have become glorified Netflix boxes. The utter lack of respectable games out there is staggering (though there are some examples that I've talked about earlier that are actually highly enjoyable). Bright shiny technologically impressive games are sold for 64$ and people snap them up because WHOOAAAAA it looks SOOOO GOOOOD. Guess what, that amazing looking concrete that was so awe inspiring doesn't matter if the game you are playing is a steaming pile of crap. In fact - let me dig into my current loot hoard of games and see how many next-gen games I actually enjoyed. Keep in mind, the following games are only ones I've actually purchased and played.

Next Gen Games Delrain Enjoyed:

1. Alien Isolation

2. Shadow of Mordor

3. Borderlands: The Handsome Edition

4. Bloodborne

5. Dragon Age: Inquisition

6. Crimes & Punishments: Sherlock Holmes

7. Fantasia - Music Evolved

8. Wolfenstein: The New Order

9. Bayonetta 2

There are some that barely did not make this list, such as Farcry 4 and Sunset Overdrive, but I have quarrels with said games that did not allow them to make it on my nice list, though luckily they do avoid the naughty list. I don't have GTA V on this list because I was impatient and played it on 360. Now, let's talk about games that I have bought, played for an hour, and then returned fuming to the store to return the game for a fraction of the money I paid - effectively robbing myself. If it is in bold, you would have more fun being beaten by a whiffle-ball bat until you were unconscious.

Next Gen Games That Are Terrible:

1. Ryse: Son of Rome

2. Killzone: Shadowfall (or whatever dumb word they use to signify a sequel now)

3. The Evil Within

4. Assassin's Creed: Unity

5. Any and all Final Fantasy games

6. Infamous Second Son

7. Knack

8. The Order 1886 (I started out loving this title, but once I got past its looks it was nothing to write home about)

9. Destiny

10. Seriously, any and all Final Fantasy games

11. Dying Light

12. Titanfall

13. Evolve

14. Dead Rising 3

15. Watch Dogs

16. Lords of the Fallen

17. Thief

Almost double, sounds about right. The list of terrible games would have been much longer if I played Call of Duty or Battlefield, but luckily I don't. From terrible story, game play, and insane amounts of necessary DLC all of these games have too many sins to forgive. 

Right now, the only thing preserving my gaming sanity is my faithful PC. There always seems to be something I can dig up and enjoy on the computer - and for that I am lucky. I know the Wii-U didn't receive much discussion time here, but honestly I don't have that many games for it still. Aside from the usual Mario titles, Bayonetta 2 was the only standout.

Today was more of a rant than anything, but to all you game companies out there - keep up the good work, soon you won't have jobs because your massive corporate overlords will one day force you to pump out so many garbage titles that there won't be anyone left who wants to buy them. 

The Underground Princess

Greetings!

Instead of pursuing my more common trains of thought, I wanted to use today as a new jumping off point. I find regularly reading to be one of the most rewarding things one could do for mental health and imagination. Now, where does one start when beginning their journey on discussing books that helped shape them as a person, or in my case as a writer?

Well, I found the answer to be quite easy - the beginning. Reading throughout a child's life is a priceless gift that any parent can bestow. A strong imagination not only leads to amazing acts of artistic creation but can also strengthen problem-solving skills and allow young readers to see a solution by looking outside of the norm. I attribute much of my (possibly dwindling) mental acuity to the fact that I was always reading when I was young. Every night I would slide into bed a few hours before I needed actually to be asleep for school the next morning and just enjoy being lost in whatever story I had lined up next, sometimes with a queue of up to ten books waiting for me.

As I've grown older I find myself shoving reading into a corner, after all when am I supposed to find time to enjoy a book between the cascading waves of stress and difficulty that come with adult life? Thus, I am even more grateful for people like my mother who constantly pushed me to read and who always alerts me to a new book that she may think I would enjoy, even if I don't pick it up. Without being guided to the world of literature I would like to think that I would have made my way there on my own eventually, but a parental figure starting you out on your first steps not only is an excellent way to ensure that your child reads but is a fantastic bonding opportunity between child and parent. Now, let's jump into the matter at hand. Instead of going the route of merely suggesting the usual (but still wonderful) titles - Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc. - I'd like to make some suggestions that you may not hear about from box-office movie adaptations, but from places, you may not have taken the time to look. There are myriads of talented writers ranging from literature for children to adult non-fiction that many of us just overlook because they aren't plastered on the front of a newspaper or magazine. On that note, I'd like to introduce a title I had a very good time reading, and would most certainly recommend to any parent or a young reader looking for a strong story to join the ranks of their favorite titles. Without further ado, allow me to introduce -

(Cover image from https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Princess-Balderdash-Saga-Book-ebook/dp/B00OTYZ4ZY#nav-subnav)

Welcome to the first of many books I will be introducing over my next few blog entries - The Underground Princess. I've been lucky enough to have some experience with the incredibly talented J.W. Zulauf and thoroughly enjoyed reading over his work during early morning time spent with my Kindle.

The Underground Princess follows the young Princess Scarlet through the beginnings of her adventures in the underground kingdom of Balderdash - where the deceased have been given a second subterranean chance at life. Princess Scarlet's search for true love leads her down a path of conflict and self-discovery that any young reader would fall into quickly. The world and characters are wonderfully crafted even to give mature readers like me a clear vision of Balderdash, its inhabitants, and even their hopes and dreams. This brings me to a point I wanted to make sure I spent time discussing. Today, at least in my opinion, the time of the tired damsel in distress motif has grown stale. No one wants a female lead to sit around her ivory tower pining over the Prince that may or may not come to bring meaning to her life - and luckily this is not the sort of Princess Scarlet is. Princess Scarlet faces danger, death, love, and betrayal with more grace and wisdom than characters published in books meant for people in their 40's.

Themes and events that some authors may shy away from in a work meant for children are expressed beautifully, most of all the aspect of death. The human condition of mortality is something we all have to come to terms with in our way, but The Underground Princess tackles this topic with tact - enough so that the usual gloomy pall hanging over such a subject completely dissipates.

The story is delightfully illustrated throughout, giving the characters you have come to enjoy even more personality (which they all have in spades from the get go). As this is the first book in the Balderdash Saga, I am excited about the next iterations and plan on collecting them for when I have a young reader of my own.

When it comes down to it, The Underground Princess is a great book to gift any young reader. The characters all portray strengths and weaknesses that we deal with on a daily basis, it contains a strong female lead which we could all use more of and most importantly is just plain fun to read. Thumbs way up!

If you are interested in The Underground Princess, you can find it in a variety of places and(as mentioned above) can even be downloaded to your Kindle at your convenience!

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Underground-Princess-Balderdash-Saga-Book-ebook/dp/B00OTYZ4ZY

Evolved Publishing: http://www.evolvedpub.com/product/the-underground-princess/

See you soon for my next recommendation; I believe my next entry will deal with some great Young Adult literature I have dug up over the past few months. Until then!